Would really like to find one that has one primary attorney-in-fact" with two "successors." (Virginia if that matters)
@A myALZteam Member I did find a lot of documents, but none that matched exactly what I wanted. So I downloaded and edited. Hopefully, no one will actually put this in front of any lawyers. We took a small risk by not going to lawyers for it, but the family all agrees to what should happen, and the doctors already accept me as caretaker and decision maker. Hopefullly, we won't regret it.
I agree with Sandyloveslola. I would go through an attorney so that you avoid the appearance of impropriety. You will be glad you did in case a distant relative or friend or doctor or neighbor or anyone questions what you are doing later down the road. You really need what is called a durable POA so that it remains in effect during subsequent mental incapacity. If you are on this site it may already be too late for that. You need legal advice now.
Thanks everyone. I downloaded forms from a Virginia site for durable POA and the medical advance directive. My parents, my siblings and I got together and filled them out and signed them with a notary. We chose not to use an attorney because of the expense and because we all agreed on who would be POA and who would be successors. No distant relatives to be concerned with. So the only concern would be financial institutions and hospitals. Just to be sure, I'm going to share these now with our primary care physician and banks -- and be sure they accept what we did.
Thanks for the input everyone. Hugs to all of you.
There is a good organisation called LPA made simple: (Email address can only be seen by the question and answer creators)
Your parents need to set this up. You cannot set it up for them. There can be a primary attorney and deputies. Gaye will explain all.