You need respite care for sure. I'd also suggest bringing in some help, part time, whatever you can afford. What will happen to him if you can't care for him even temporarily?

I had a great talk with a gal about respite care. Follow this link to listen. http://www.fadingmemoriespodcast.com/2019/04/23...

I completely understand how you feel and believe me when I tell you, we all go through dark times. How could we not??? I had to laugh when you mentioned shopping because I feel the same way. I wonder aimlessly feeling lost with no desire or need to shop. I am on a quest to find something I would enjoy doing with my respite time other than grocery shopping. I know people mean well when they suggest hairdressers and nail salon’s, but come on, really! LOL... Could that be the secret to feeling better?

Bj war How the hell are you coping 180 lb For God sake that’s not fair I have enough trouble Moving my little carol around My back muscles keep going And my left shoulder Has been wrong for about nine months And I’m quite a strong man Oh I really feel for you And I know all about the lack of sleep. But don’t you give up young lady Let’s hope you have a better day tomorrow

I feel for you I am in almost the same situation as you, I don't mind taking care of my husband, he is still fairly easy to deal with, but it gets very depressing at times and lonely. I suggest one thing to get to help you with getting him out of a chair etc. There are belts you can order on Amazon, I think Walmart might carry some also, they are sturdy and you put them on and that way get a good grip. The cost is around nine dollars.
I will also have to get some help with watching him when I need to go grocery shopping etc., needless to say you can't pay for someone to stay just to do some relaxing, it gets too costly. I used to do yoga also, had to skip that and really miss it. Big hug to you.

SteveNuttal, you said it well!! BJW - your feelings are normal in the world we are living. The loneliness can make you tired too. I am living on 6 hours max a night that is cut with at least one to two potty breaks. Gets old - just like it did when we had small kids!!! No vacation for 5 years. Well I took a vacation to spend with one of my daughters - exhausting to get it organized for 24 hour care and so much harder to come back to the caregivers!!!!! Hang in there!!!