Gotta slow it all down, @A myALZteam Member. My working life had been ruled by daily / weekly / monthly targets and job lists. Not surprisingly that mindset followed me home. When I was where you are I invented our Dementia Effectiveness Factor. For a regular couple this would be 2. Jackie’s declining contribution shaved off the first few points. Then I got more engaged in supporting her which took out some of my contribution. And so over the years our DEF has declined to -oh, I don’t know - maybe 0.2 / 0.1. That is to say Jackie’s contribution is now zero and I have 80/90 % of my time and effort engaged in caring for her. Life gets slower and smaller. Doing anything other than rolling with it creates stress and tension. Having the DEF allowed me to think positively about not getting stuff done and excuse myself for those failures. That has been better than any chill pills. Good luck. S.

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A myALZte...

I made up my mind over a year ago that I will not be upset if I don't 'accomplish' what I wanted to that day or even if I don't accomplish anything! I realize I am extremely blessed because I do have a helper that comes in 3 afternoons a week and cleans house for me but will also do whatever else I need her to do that day. If I leave she is caregiver to Johnny. Last week she helped weed the asparagus patch and the peony bed.

I have found ways to lesson my hands on work around the house --pay bills online, order groceries and pick up, meds thru mail, etc. Every little bit helps! Blessings and good luck!

I love your DEF Steve. I don't worry anymore if I don't get all the stuff done. Tomorrow is another day. Hugh still gets a lot of pleasure if he feels he is helping. We planted some veg in containers this week. He filled them up with compost ( and spilled lots on the path). Once I planted them he did the watering. Of course I had to redo stuff and water well but I did that once he was inside and unaware. I am lucky he can still try to help although he is exhausted afterwards and has a wee nap.

We have all been there. Breathe and asked God for patience.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Time is so important for you right now. Time with the one you love..