My mom asks for her parents now. Do you tell the truth that they have passed long time ago or just go with it? Also we can barely understand her words anymore. It’s mumbling. Again do we just go with it and nod yes etc it twllnher we can’t understand her. If she gets little upset you can understand her better. Not sure what’s right answer.
Just go with it. When mum asks where people are who have passed away i quickly answer. Your mums busy baking but she will pop in tomorrow. Your husband has gone to help somebody out for an hour. It satisfies them for the moment. And they live in the moment. Tomorrow is another day. Today is forgotten. Tell them what they need to hear. Good luck. Xx
That's typical behavior. It's best to deflect when they ask to talk to their parents. Just go with it. Every night my father would want to call his mom and every night my mother would tell him- Larry- your mother's dead ! And I would see his face fall. I would tell her to just make something up- tell him she's out and then change the subject. Same with the mumbling, just go with it. Ask yes or no questions and if she goes on just listen. That's all they want is for something to care and listen. There is no one right answer, just remember your mom is still human and needs your love and attention. She can get hungry or tired or scared.
In my experience as an assisted living administrator, I feel it is better to just go with it than remind them of the death. They are not going to remember no matter how many times you remind them so each time you remind them they grieve all over again. When asked “where’s my mom” just say you haven’t seen her today and then redirect.
My LO tells me nearly every night that he needs to call his parents😢😢worse /- he needs to go to their house. Usually time takes care of it. I tell him they have gone to bed & he needs to talk timorrow.
My husband just ask me this week, he said he didn’t want to ask this question, but was his Mother still alive. He said he thought he had been talking to she that night, I told him the truth. He did except it, but thought she had not been gone as long as she had.