I help him to clean himself after a bowel movement, but is not easy. He gets very angered, irritated and is starting to hold my wrists hard and changing his face to angered one. I'm getting scared of his behaviour. Any suggestions please?
Wet wipes are helpful. If you can talk him through using those you can stay out of harms way. I don't think clean underwear is worth getting hurt over. If he wont do a proper job of wiping he will get sore down there but again, be safe first!! Always.
Just do a quick swipe then just let it go if he is wearing disposables. Sometimes you just aren’t going to be able to keep him real clean.
I vote for wet wipes, too. You can buy them by the case at Amazon (I use Cottonelle). They do a great job. Before we moved to that, he would often put so much toilet paper into the commode that he would have it overflowing and I'd have to come in, plunge the toilet and mop up the mess. That got old fast. Because the Cottonelle pop up one small sheet at a time, he's less inclined to grab a wad of them so no more toilet plunger required. You just have to be careful if you have a septic tank. They do not disintegrate that well even though they claim to.
Talk to your doctor. I have to help my husband sometimes on the toilet. I have gloves to wear and throw away. I used flushable wipes at the end to make sure he is clean. But if your spouse is getting angry maybe he or she needs some medication for anger/anxiety etc. Just saying . Anxiety comes in many forms. Hope this is helpful 🙂
I have found it useful to let him know that i’m going to wipe his bottom clean first so he’s not upset at the intimacy. Don’t flush wet wipes down toilet they may cause problem. Just wrap in newspaper and put in trash.