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My Mother Still Drives And I Don't Think She Should. How Do I Approach This Without Her Getting Angry?

My Mother Still Drives And I Don't Think She Should. How Do I Approach This Without Her Getting Angry?

When she was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's she was already getting lost. The doctor did say that she should not be driving anymore and restricted her. She made my life hell and cried how she couldn't even go to the cemetery anymore to visit my dad's grave. I spoke with the doctor and he allowed her to drive there and in town. Fast forward four years.....She hasn't gotten lost lately (she really hasn't been driving too much lately, I have a tracker on her phone so I know when she leaves and I… read more

posted over 4 years ago
A myALZteam Member said:

I was in communication with my Mom's primary care provider of the changes I was noticing so she understood that Mom was early cognitive decline. We talked about the driving and she said when I felt it was a concern, she could refer her to Driving OT (Occupational Therapy) so they can test (neuro and driving) then if they say she is not safe to drive, it is a stranger up there.

As it turns out, after she had a surgery and needed assessment before driving again the doctor referred her and she tested out as mid-stage Dementia just on the neuropsych exam plus braking response so was recommended to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to revoke her license. I keep reminding her that we are lucky we figured it out before she hurt herself or someone else. She thinks she should be able to drive around town. I keep telling her what if a sweet little child she knows runs out in the road and she is unable to stop in time she would feel awful if she hurt or killed someone else. She agrees but still grumbles about it. So I just keep repeating how lucky we are.

I tell her I drive Miss Daisy (I home share with her) anywhere she needs to go so she is satisfied with that.

posted over 3 years ago
A myALZteam Member said:

Again the law is quite clear, that when you self certify that you are fit to drive, and if you drive and have an accident, your licence will be revoked, unless you are passed as fit to do so by a doctor - unlikely!
More importantly, if you as their primary carer are aware of a reason why they should not drive, you are aiding and abetting. So heaven forbid, if you are in the car, there is a fatality, you COULD be an accessory to involuntary manslaughter. Now there's a thought to give you nightmares!!!

Please just think of the possible consequences before you allow your loved ones to get behind the wheel of a car, which is potentially a weapon that can kill!!!

posted over 4 years ago
A myALZteam Member said:

I am sorry, but if your doctor said she should not drive, there should be no problem. OK she wants to drive. Does she want to accidently run over a family, or kids coming home from school? If she is at that that stage, it is no longer what Mum wants, but what is safe - for her and everybody else.

posted over 4 years ago
A myALZteam Member said:

I stopped my mother driving by requesting the GP inform DVLA she was not safe to drive, which she did and they revoked her licence. It is not just about your Mum but the safety of other road users and your duty to them before there is a problem. Yes she will complain bitterly about not being allowed to drive but she will be safe and so will other road users.

posted over 3 years ago
A myALZteam Member said:

So true get POA I also stopped at social security offices that same day. Chris admitted he needed me to be his care giver. I had read a few books and all recommended getting affairs in order. It's very difficult but I'm glad I completed a few things but have neglected others

posted over 4 years ago
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