Sometimes you can't help feeling anger and frustration. We are still human. Many times it can be like dealing with a toddler in an adult body. I am where you are but I started taking mom to an adult memory care center two or three days a week. I now have time for me. Call the office on aging or United Way in your area and see what programs are available.

I am my mother's caregiver. My sister helps out some and my husband and son are there with me to help with her, but I feel like this disease is my identity. I don't like it. I feel like I introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Rebeca, my mother has Alzheimer's. I feel resentment also and sometimes hatred and I feel so sorry for myself and then I feel guilty for feeling those things. I love my mom, but it is a long disease and sometimes it seems like there is not end to it. I am sorry, I am not helping you out any, but I just wanted you to know, YOU are not the only one feeling these things. I don't know if they are right or wrong, but I wanted you to know I am here with you on this long journey. Hang in there!

Please don't beat yourself up for these feelings. Its not the retirement I expected and I alot of times not so pleased or happy with my situation. But we do what we can. My mother is never pleased with nothing I do and compares me with my baby brother who she said she wants to live with. He will not call, visit or even ask how she's doing. When I go home I sometime cry or scream. Even question God as to how much more can I do. I feel you , but we'll get through it. Don't blame yourself for these feeling. We have at least here each other to lean on.
Much Support
PLJ NASHVILLE

@Yank, it sounds like you are doing so many things well. Unfortunately, this process is just too much for any of us many days. @A myALZteam Member said it so well and I'm so glad your are already doing these things. My Sweet RAC and I have been on this journey since 2009 and I get very tired and frequently respond sharply to him. I did take a trip last fall and that was so helpful but this doesn't last to carry us through the day to day for very long. One thing i have done is to locate some volunteer things I can do on my own schedule at home. I also usher at my church as he can sit with someone else for that once a month I have a job. These things help me hold on to myself as a person who contributes to things outside my little life. It allows me to interact with others about something other than my husband's issues. (Don't get me wrong, the support groups, etc are hugely helpful!) I feel just like you; I refuse to let this disease take me too! I saw that happen with my father-in-law and it's very ugly!! Not - Not - Not!!!!

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A myALZte...

We are into year 10 with this disease. This is not how I (and we) planned to spend my 50s and now 60s. I have all those same feelings you describe. For me I have an online spousal support group I have belonged to since 2009 so we have become like family. Without them, the education I have gotten there, and my computer I would go absolutely insane.