Hi. Well it sounds like being a bit afraid and anxious has driven you to do a good job of getting your finances re-organised. This is a long road and the unknown and unexpected are always just round the next corner. Fear and anxiety can be good motivators when effectively channeled, and you seem to have that happy knack. It would be helpful to get over the guilt around doing things for yourself. As your husband’s needs increase, so your need for self care in whatever form works for you will increase. Stick with us and we’ll be with you along the way. All best, S.

Taking care of yourself does not have to cost money. A walk in the park, a coffee with a friend (even over the phone), a nap in the afternoon, a bath . All can be so helpful to us.... its caring for us and letting us tend to our own needs.

I have two wonderful sisters, they are 7 and 9 years younger than I am! I love them so much but we are scattered everywhere! I feel your pain because I would feel the same way if it were one of my sisters! Thank goodness for FaceTime and Zoom! I thank the good Lord for having them in my life and feel blessed that I am older and will hopefully go before them! I don’t know if I could bear losing either one of them! It must be so hard on you that you can’t visit your sister! Hang in there, we will probably all be going through this in time!

When I realized that my husband was following in his parents footsteps, I was sick with anxiety for a few days. I thought he’d be gone in a few short years. Although it sometimes it feels like there’s a black cloud hanging over, it’s been a long trip so far. He’s started showing symptoms about 8 years ago. We’ve had many wonderful times together as well as the common frustrations, arguments and all that goes with living with someone with dementia. You will have good times still ahead, I hope. Of course, we all have to take care of ourselves, without guilt, so we can care for someone else. I’ve always done our finances, so that hasn’t been our problem. Wishing you the best on this difficult path.

I feel you - I had to do the same thing when I started tending to my 89 year old mother. I am still trying to get things together for this year's taxes - but right now nobody's mad at us anymore - but my bank is pretty modern and has good software to help. Here's a pretty picture to help you feel better - a LOT of my leisure time is spent doing coloring by number on the phone.