Preparing To Move My Wife To A Group Family Home | myALZteam

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Preparing To Move My Wife To A Group Family Home
A myALZteam Member asked a question 💭

She is in the advance stages of Alzheimer’s and it has come time to move her into a small family home. She is a very calm and considerate personality without any violent tendencies. What steps can we take to prepare her for the move? We have been married 57 years and won’t let me out of her sight without becoming upset or nervous.

posted May 24, 2019
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A myALZteam Member

Take her to visit the facility if she is up to it. Most facilities offer a free lunch or lunch at a minimal cost to prospective or new families if you call ahead to let them know you will be there. Take her to visit when they are having an activity she might be interested in. Most will at least do sort of social interaction either through games, or arts and crafts
It depends on whether most of the residents have moderate or advanced dementia. Family homes usually like to group residents with those of similar cognitive ability. If she likes pets, ask if they bring in therapy animals. Most places will allow family pets to visit on leash, if they are well behaved. They can be very comforting. Familiar items fom home are great, such as photos for the walls, a favorite afghan or blanket. Some like to have a bible or devotional or books to read if they are able. It is popular to make a notebook or scrapbook with photos of family, with the names and relationship or event (vacation to the beach, fo example) printed next to the picture. This helps when familiar faces can't always be connected with a name.

posted May 25, 2019
A myALZteam Member

Moving my mother from my home to a nursing home was heartbreaking for the both of us - there is nothing easy about it. The advice above is good - bring familiar items and photos and even furniture if you are allowed. Some recommend not visiting for several days or weeks after they move in, but I don’t understand that logic at all. I had someone distract my mother while I slipped out and then came back a few hours later. It was really tough but we got a routine going and I went daily to spend time with her so she knew I would show up. I can imagine my mom was confused and scared so I hoped being there so often would help. Take care...

posted June 7, 2019
A myALZteam Member

Aileen is correct, try to take her favorite soothing items.

posted May 24, 2019
A myALZteam Member

Keep her surrounded with familiar things, your picture was a great idea, notes, cards, favorite flowers....

posted May 24, 2019
A myALZteam Member

I completely disagree with not returning for days or weeks. Your presence is reassuring her. She needs to feel safe and accepted. My mom would get very fearful of any noise at night until she got used to it. She sometimes had auditory hallucinations as part of the sundowning.
The new environment is stressful and they often have a rapid cognitive decline. It can be temporary until the get used to the surroundings and routines. If they get repeatedly relocated, they will not bounce back from the set back of changing environment. Be as certain as possible on the facility that it is what you want. Ask about staff rates of turnover. Ask about CNA to patient ratio. For safety can you see most of the room from the hall when the door is open?. A clear view can be invaluable in fall prevention.

posted June 12, 2019

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