OK, Ruby. You got a lot off your chest here. I’m guessing Cub is asleep already, and maybe that would be a good idea for you too- this is a tiring business. All your questions rolled up - we’ve all been there in one way or another. These are the grim realities of what this illness does to the partners and families and friends of the person who is ill. So a big thank you for laying out stuff that so many people will read and say, “I thought it was just me”.

To cope, stepping back really helps. All his stuff boils down to a couple of things - scared and confused. He doesn’t understand the world any more. Calm and attentive routine with lots of emotional reassurance are the text book solutions. It’s OK to take time to get there, just choose your battles for a while.

But yes, your life is now changed for ever. Your partner is on the way to becoming your dependent. Yes, there will be lots of folks with lots of chat who don’t roll up their sleeves. Yes, the help you get will be from a few willing people - love and value them, or otherwise from agencies - research carefully and take all you are entitled to and buy the rest to meet your needs.

I’m sure other folks will have responses for you tomorrow on your questions, but for now I hope you sleep well because tomorrow is coming fast - it just arrived here so I’d better get busy. All best, Steve.

Steve, you always make so much sense. I am so glad you are on this site. I don’t post very often but I jump on a couple of times a day to get my “fix”. Thanks for your wisdom and sharing.

its suck a good feeling knowing i am not alone and people actually understand how i feel. I am learning and i thank you for sharing your story with me. Every little bit helps

I couldn't have said it any better my friend @A myALZteam Member. Don would panic when he couldn't see me because he knew something was not right and he was scared and confussed. And yes ,it only got worse as the disease progressed on. Now in his final stage , he will not let go of my hand when he sees me. He gets mighty upset if I talk to others while visiting him. If he turns his head away from me and can't see me he starts screaming my name , even if I am holding his hand. I have learned to stay calm for his sake and yes , routine is so important .Don needs so much more reassurance these days. I come home from visiting him and all I want to do is sleep. Very draining ! Sending hugs.💟 to you @ Ruby84 . Pace yourself , this is a long road to travel and can be very overwhelming at times. Know you are not alone. SusieQ.

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A myALZte...

Yes Ruby , it sucks! Its a horrific disease and so incredibly sad to watch it happening to someone you love. I thank you too for your support. I also feel better knowing I am not alone.