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Dad Continues To Deny His Diagnosis
A myALZteam Member asked a question šŸ’­

My Dad is mid-late stages, and it's quite obvious to anyone near him that this is so. Mom is main caregiver, but she has poor eyesight, and sometimes its difficult. They live in independent senior housing, so they are safe where they are, and Mom gets a lot out of that security. Unfortunately, HE forgets that he actually has this horrible disease, and will argue till blue in the face that he is "just fine" and "you don't have any proof of that" or "you are all just working against me, but Iā€¦ read more

posted August 2, 2018
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A myALZteam Member

Unfortunately there is no manual. However, you could be talking about my hubby.I have been living with those same words for over 8 years. But the first time I had someone come out to sit so I could get away for a while, he said I don't need No one's help. I said " I know you don't, but I do. So that I can enjoy my time without worrying about you." He didn't like it but after explaining that the VA was paying and that he had signed up for it, he didn't throw a fit when she got here. Don't know if this helps but it's worth a try to say your Mom needs it and it's for her.

posted August 2, 2018
A myALZteam Member

Hi, my mum is almost 91 and now lives with me. She is mid stage too. On her good days she knows she is "losing it". On her forgetful days, which is more often than not, she is the same......
One of my friends on here lives close, her father has dementia and we have met up for coffee. He is very open and will tell you outright that he has it..I'm hoping that by meeting others with the same illness she will accept that it is not a stigma or she is not "mental".
Mum gets quite argumentative about the same things as your dad. It can be hell on earth sometimes! I don't have any solutions as such because whichever way I phrase anything it is taken the wrong way...I think it is ingrained that mum knows there is something wrong and is trying her hardest to fight it.
We often take time out for a drive and change the scenery to break the mood . That does work for us...failing that it's a trip out to the shed to swear and cry when it all goes pear shaped.
Good support from Altzheimers u.k. Or local help groups is essential. We are just in the process of setting this up...I've been in the house since September and mum moved in a few weeks ago. It's quite frustrating for both of us but we are slowly getting to grips with living together.
Hang in there, we needed our parents as kids, now they need us!..
Here if you need to talk. Xx

posted August 2, 2018
A myALZteam Member

Thank you

posted August 2, 2018
A myALZteam Member

I have the same problem, its all my problem, nothing wrong with him, despite MRI. unfortunately there is no manual and it will change daily, I found that once the angry stage had passed mostly I have a very gentle man again. I never argue any more, I just say ,, Oh Okay and leave the room if possible. i seem to apologise a lot but hey if it works, just do it. remember it is an illness and he can not help it mostly the isolation is what gets me. I used to be very social and things always going on. Now I cant be bothered. It takes a lot of energy and I feel for your Mum, its the constant attention seeking, where are you going, who is on the phone, what do they want. did you do this, did you do that.

the DHB will help with some hours if your mum would like that. For a while I had some one to clean as it was all getting to much, for me, you understand. nothing to do with him, this mean I could disappear for a while. There is an alzhiemers group in Invercargill which knows about most things available and I found them very helpful..
sending a hug to you and you mum

posted August 2, 2018
A myALZteam Member

This is so common it has a name. https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/3-4-14-anosog...

posted August 2, 2018

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