Bless you, this is not the Mum you grew up with and loved. This another person that has had the misfortune to be the victim of a very cruel disease.

I have tried to explain it before as a light. Remember the light is on, but there is no one at home? I expect there will be times when she just looks at you, and nothing registers. The light is off. Then she will perhaps be very grateful, say thank you or generally be herself for a while. The light is on.

When she gets mad at you, then this other person has taken over for a while. The brain is a very complex thing and go into meltdown if overloaded. If she has been asked to do a lot of things all at once, the brain gets this person to give your Mum some slack, and to protect her. Mum keep still, mum take your pills, Mum when do you want to eat? Too much. Talk to Mum as if she were a child, and wait for her to respond to one thing at a time, without rushing.
Like a child, she will sense any impatience, and try to rush to make you happy.
Not good, nasty Mum comes in. Try to act as if you have all the time in the world (not easy), but it will make her feel as if she has achieved something and not upset you.

All this , is such a fine balancing act, and funnily enough, the more you relax, so will your MUM. I wish you lots of patience, understanding, cuddles and love, x

I think you just have to keep somehow reminding yourself that if she were herself she would be very grateful for your love help and care but she has dementia and thats having an impact. Your love and care is very much needed. Try not to feel unappreciated even if thats hard. Its plain to see from what your saying your doing an amazing job and showing all the love in the world

It is the dementia making her act this way. She can't help it. I deal with the same thing. It is hard but you just have to take a deep breath and remember this is not her. she is not the person she was. I know this is diffucult.

I deal with it too. Tiresome, and it's hard to remember not to take it to heart. It's hurtful, but not as bad as hearing that from people who think they know better about his care, letting me know I'm not doing things right.