Boy, there sure is a lot of similarity. Their house is very small. Hallways leave 1-2 inches on each side of hallway for wheel chair and bathroom will not work. It would have to be renovated. Stairs out of house front and back and no ramps. And super small doorways. We've gone back and forth over and over. Yesterday we mentioned the name of the nursing home and my father in law got super depressed. He knew what that meant. And my mother in law the day before lashed out a couple of times because she wants to be involved in all the discussions. She says she understands the issue some days and others she totally forgets. My husband and brother in law and I are all agonizing over the decision. This is the most difficult decision someone has to make. I'm so sorry you are having to go through the same thing. Blessings to you and thank you for all the kind words and advice!!

I'm so sorry for you. All I can say is the violence slowly goes away. My momma was violent and at one point I thought she broke my wrist. I waited 2 hours just to be
x-rayed then they put me in an ER room because my blood pressure was extremely high (they thought I was going to stroke out) but by then it had been 4+ hours not even an aspirin for the pain so.... Yes I understand, at her beginnings all is siblings too our parents to Disney for their 50th anniversary and she screamed saying my sister was going to throw her down the escalator (she was wheelchair bond due to a for surgery) it was upsetting then but we giggled about later.

Just remember that isn't them and this will pass with time and you'll see your old mom again

My Mom is in a nursing home. I believe it is best, not only for her but the rest of our family. It would be my sole responsibility as my brother will not help with care,but does help financially. It would not be fair to my husband or children as I would not be able to leave the house for anything. I would miss things my grands are involved. My husband also has polycythemia and has days that he is just exhausted. Mom is very mean and can sometimes be violent. She will bang her wheelchair against any object repeatedly, like a small child, then scream "stop it!" like someone else is doing it. She has beat her room to pieces and broke the AED door. Today I was wheeling her to the sink to wash her hands and she decided she didn't want to wash her hands so she pushed her chair back quickly and knocked me off my feet and just kept coming. I was telling her to stop that she had knocked me down and she said, "that's what you get for hitting me." Sad that she thinks I hit her. Anyone else experience this kind of violence?

Thank you Kathleen. I wish that had happened with my in-laws. It would sure have helped. Thank you.

Years ago my parents had a family meeting and WE (all their children) had to agree to NOT put them in a nursing home (due to how my grandparents had been treated). We converted areas and downsized furniture and made this work for OUR family. This a very hard decision and I'll pray you choose what is best for you(later in life) and then now